For no reason at all today I feel homesick. I find myself drifting off in thought about every family gathering I can remember. I am eating home made french onion soup for lunch and I started to think about a lunch my mother threw together for my family right before Jerrod deployed and my aunts made amazing soups (random I know but if you have not realized it yet, I am a very random person) This past year has flown by here in Exmouth, I mean we have almost been here for half of our tour! But the reality of another full year for some reason hit me hard today. I started thinking about our annual lobster bake with the extended family, something I look forward to every august and perhaps have only missed two or three in all my years. Maybe it's the talk of Christmas in July but it has me yearning for our crazy family Christmas party and all of the hectic chaos that comes with it that I secretly love. As I literally started to feel tears well up in my eyes over lunch with the kids the song Eye Of The Storm. came on and I was border line breakdown/relief...possibly the hardest mixed emotions I have ever felt. Now, if you know the song please be aware that my children are doing fine and we are not flat broke or losing our house but the under lying message that I am not the one in control of my life and that someone else much greater is making my plans for me and will take care of me is what I am referring to. Some days are just harder than others. I want to hug my mom and dad. I want to have my nieces and nephews over for camp outs and I want to go bowling and have pizza with all of siblings. Soon enough. For now I will settle for as much facetime as I can. Now I am going to enjoy this yummy soup and try not to cry my eyes out as I know it will pass as it usually does....eventually....I think...kinda.
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